Right then.....now ees time for big bust-up in ze performers page where some peepils theemk ees no' funny to come screech in with fintailed auto what ees robbed but MONDO RANCHO say forget about MAIN FESTIVAL and come SOUTH OF THE BORDER where admission is ONE PESOS for songs and ballados and eef you haf HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA you will be admit to ze MONDO RANCHO MARBLES OLYMPICS which ees no' to mention ze SCALEXTRIC CHALLENGE what is orgaise by CAPTAIN BUTTY beside ze WAGON..so forget about poems songs and stories and hire ze burro and get SOUTH OF ZE BORDER IN.....MONDO RANCHO!,WITH CAPTAIN BUTTY in his magnifico SOMBRERO.
And now back to-Kevin Allen with some stuff about peoples on programme.
We think the term 'LINE-UP' is a bit rock 'n roll for the Flat Lake and feel slightly silly using it ... for now we will coin the phrase '2009 PERFORMERS' but this sounds a bit.........soft.
..... if anyone would like to create a catchy yet informative alternative to 'LINE UP' please let us know and we'll give you a free ticket and a fistful of crispy pork.
Although we have some surprises up our sleeves, this is who who's confirmed so far.ESPECIALLY-YES,WAIT FOR IT FLATLAKERS AND THIS TIME IT IS NOT A JOKE!-WE HAVE JUST BEEN ON THE PHONE TO AISLING BOWYER AND SHE HAS CONFIRMED THAT THE AWE-INSPIRING BRENDAN BOWYER,WHO BLEW THOSE WHO WERE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE THERE AWAY LAST TIME AT HILTON,IS INDEED COMING TO THE FESTIVAL AND WILL BE PLAYING AT 8PM ON THE SUNDAY NIGHT YES AT EIGHT O CLOCK SUNDAY NIGHT THE IRISH ELVIS NO HE'S EVEN BETTER THAN PRESLEY WILL BE SENDING A LOT OF PEOPLE HOME WITH SMILES ON THEIR FACES.ME,I CAN'T WAIT FOR 'AMERICAN TRILOGY,THE HUCKLEBUCK AND DON'T LOSE YOUR HUCKLEBUCK SHOES.WHAT A COUP!THANK YOU BRENDAN!8PM ON SUNDAY 16th AUGUST-HILTON LEGENDS BEGIN!
BRENDAN BOWYER-SUNDAY 16TH 8PM
Programme to follow soon.
SO, HERE WE GO...... the 2009 FLAT LAKE LINE-UP ....
In alphbeticl order.....(except the first one)
THE FLAT LAKE OPEN POETRY SLAM
First come first served - just roll up with a poem lasting no more than three minutes. members of the audience are chosen by an M.C. for the event. After each poet performs, each judge awards a score to that poem. Scores generally range between zero and ten. The highest and lowest score are dropped, giving each performance a rating between zero and thirty points. In the standard slam, there are five judges. Lovely surprise prize. 'Ave it!
Abie Philbin Bowman - is the only Western stand-up stupid enough to have performed a religious, political comedy in Pakistan during the 2007 State of Emergency. He’s also the only Irish radio host imaginative enough to have marked Barack Obama’s election victory by interviewing the Ku Klux Klan live on election night.
Adrian Dunbar - Yes, the cheeky twinkly eyed actor/writer comes to the Flat Lake with a bit of country and lounge - he says irony is dead - long live the bee gees - and up the republic! Stall that Digger!!!!
Ana Gog - local outfiters - left their piano stand behind last year which is still sitting here in my office behind a pile of peat briquettes.
Andrew Meehan - We have no idea why this civilist of servants is on the list because he knows nothing about the booking. So don't expect him to be here.
STOP PRESS! This is not true because I rang him myself (writes Captain Butty) and he will now be carrying buckets of chicken meal and pig nuts in and out of the MONDO RANCH and also flopping about in the wellies he was wearing for the EDNA O BRIEN interview last year. Why, the captain might even interview him about being head of the Irish 'any chance of 25 cents towards the hire of a camera' Fillum board.
AnnMarie O'Grady - an acoustic performer who has previously supported Christy Moore, Paul Brady, Brian Kennedy and many more. She has had songs covered by international artists such as Frances Black and has 2 albums to her credit, one produced by grammy award winning producer, Malcolm Burn.
The Artane Boys Band - (and girls an' all now) .... as a warm-up to our fruity GAA Debate ...what better way to kick things off but listen to the best marching band in Ireland! Listen out for the Abba medley.
The Flat Lake Art Auction - Anything goes here - from paintings to pigs to porcelain jugs - the annual art auction is a truly great way of spending an hour and unloading a couple of squid. A white knuckle ride of arty consumerism - This is REAL theatre.
Brian Leyden - Author of Death & Plenty - born in Leitrim - currently in the US with the Norman Mailer Fellowship and has just finished his new novel. Lovely stuff.
Brian McGilloway and Declan Hughes - Down these Mane streets these men will go - there to uncover the most direst and dastardly deeds - shadows on glass, glock pistols, snap- brim fedoras...... and how's your father. A crime symposium on the state of pulp fiction in Ireland - a fascinating debate hosted by Eoin McNamee.
The Church Hill Siver Band - Amazing brass band ...except there's a catch - their instruments are not brass but actually coated in silver !
Cillian Murphy - Yes, young 'Blue Eyes' will be playing some lovely music in the Butty Barn...and guess what girls ? He enjoys dancing! And ladies, we will also be auctioning off the key to his room, so start saving.
CLONES FILM FESTIVAL TENT - this unique festival, now in its 7th ..or maye 8th year will provide you with a fascinating programme of cinema - Features, shorts, docs, kids stuff .... rest assured there's something for everyone in this lovely old army tent over the entire weekend.WATCH OUT FOR GEORGE O REILLY BING CROSBY'S BEST FRIEND!WITH HIS GREAT SHOW-!
Colm Byrne - The prolific and admired NY Times journalist Jayson Blair rose to the top with awe- inspiring articles in the run up to the Iraq war. The only problem was; he made them up. Choke Point takes you on his downfall, and how he fooled the brightest minds in journalism. Called 'The best role for a black man since Six Degrees of Separation' - Geoffrey Owens (Cosby Show) and 'Outstanding, superbly crafted, both sincere and moving' - Three Weeks magazine. This reading is an Irish Premiere.
Clara Rose & Lizzy Deery - young, up and coming blues musicians. A brand of original raw, raunchy blues blended with a tender, soulful roots combine create the perfect evening's entertainment!
Darren McCreesh - Biog to come ...
Declan Burke - One of four Irish crime writers who will be getting together to plan the perfect heist - in public!READ 'THE BIG O' BY DECLAN.
Dermot Bolger - A Fistful of Bolgers - Two Generations United by Talent & Divided by Hair. Poet Dermot Bolger reads from his work accompanied by an eclectic selection of original songs by singer/songwriters Donnacha and Diarmuid Bolger.
Dermot Healy & Fintan Vallely - reading of poetry and prose with music on the concert flute.
Diva Poetry Group - Be afraid - be very, very afraid.
Donal O'Kelly - First outing of a new one-man show based on the adventures of Keogh, a Shell security man in Rossport Co. Mayo.
Dublin City Jazz Orchestra - Festival showstoppers - Unbelievabubble. This is no wedding band, these boys are the real thing. Best in the country - aged in oak - they'll be swinging you from Count Basie to Quincy Jones.... and back again.... and then back again...again.
Dylan Tighe - Fabulous Dublin baladeer and actor who's lived in Eastern Europe - famous for his renditions of the Old Triangle, Come out You Black 'n Tans ...and a Serbian number we don't know the name of.
Eoin Mcnamee - Needs know intro to the Flat Lake audience - arguably the finest prose stylist in Ireland - most recent book 12/24 - an eerie speculation on the death of Diana, Princess of Wales. Also chairing the crime symposium.
Evelyn Conlon - From Rockorry - she's one of the most accomplished short story writers in the country. Most recently also edited 'Later On' - an anthology dedicated to those who died in the Monaghan bombings.
THE FIDDLER ORIEL PLAYERS - The Flat Lake campfire will be looked after this year by the organisers of the THE ANNUAL FIDDLER ORIEL FESTIVAL IN MONAGHAN - From 9pm until the early hours of the morning you will be able to listen to some of the best Trad players in Ireland. All acoustic muzos obviously welcome to get stuck in.
Fintan McKeown - Biog to come.... FIntan will be bringing us a collection of poetry and prose as a tribute to the late, great Harold Pinter. Not to be missed. Did you know that Harold Pinter once wrote a fascinating monograph about the Irish Midlands? - " Ireland wasn't golden always but it was golden sometimes in the 1950's" he said. ????????? Oh, come on Harold.
GAA Debate - Presented by The Dubliner Magazine. The Flat Lake's very own celebration of 125 yrs of the GAA. What is the true secret nature of this extraordinary amateur sporting body - in fact one of the richest in the world? Founded in a Tipperary hotel in the 19th century by a pair of cricket and rugby freaks - the GAA became one of the most powerful organisations in the whole of Ireland. This will no doubt be a fruity hour and a half - and what better place for it to take part than in the Butty Barn. Put together by Shane Connaughton, the panel will include Tom McGurk, Paul Fitzpatrick from The Anglo-Celt and Jim McDonnell,former Cavan football great - all itching to wind you up. History is literally made of this stuff. Don't forget to ask about the GPA and what they're on about. Boat-rocking more than welcome.
Gavin Friday - Coming Staurday, leaving Sunday - Currently on tour with the RSC banging out Shakespear's sonnets to the hoi polloi - GAV, as we call him these days, is also getting ready to record a new album while his tights are in the cleaners.
George O'Reilly - A Flat Lake Special. A DVD presentation of a TV “Special” made in the 1966, hosted by Bing Crosby. The programme features Milo O’Shea, the Guinness Brewery, the Little Dublin Singers, Siobhan McKenna, Dermot O’Brien – but not all in the same shot!! A slice of Ireland from the 60s. Whatever state you are in by 8.00 pm on Stayrday evening ....MAKE THIS A DATE in the cinema tent.
Giselle Scanlon - her book, A GODESS GUIDE is glossy annual of mouth-watering femininity - old bits and pieces that she found on her travels - written in an appealing, humorous and wholly disarming style.
Goodnight Irene - this young Scotshouse band tore the roof off the big top last year and were not charged a penny for the repair - so good they inspired Paudy McQuaid to suck down a bottle of 'ead rot in less than an hour. Paudy, although slowly on the mend, will be with us in a wheelchair this year.
GoGoshKa K - Virtuoso Pianist - a native of Tbilisi Georgia living in Laytown Co.Meath. Classically trained GoGoshKa..K loves playing Crossover and Boogie Woogie piano. With her toyboy drummer Simon North she intends to kick up a storm in your teacup. Scheduled to play 5pm Sunday on the Main stage. GoGoshKa..K looks forward to meeting you there."
Hadron Collider - Otherwise known to me as 'Son of Man'. All the way from Welsh Wales - these lads will blow you into the bushes with their unique brand of hard ass Acid Rock.
Helen Griffin - Welsh Actress - Twin Town original - brings over her much celebrated renditiion of a play about Caitlin, the naughty old wifey of Dylan Thomas.
HUMBUZZER - Headed by Cormac McCaul of Dartry, this act ‘Humbuzzer’ is a guitar spun odyssey of original styling coupled from freshly written songs inspired by the local platform of rolling countryside.
IN TENT ON THE DEVINE - will be filled with events to bend you, cleanse you, heal you and put a smile on your face. Bring comfortable clothes to start your day with yoga.
Jack 'L' Lukeman- will be playing a musical tribute entitled THE MIGHTY ROBESON. Paul Robeson 1898 - 1976 has always been a Mount Everest for Jack, both vocally and metaphysically. It is hard enough working in showbiz, staying true to your art when you don't have the CIA breathing down your neck and spiking your drink with acid in their ultra mind control programme. Robeson predates Martin Luther King and Mohammed Ali as a voice against racism and bigotry. A real gem.
Jack Lynch - Famed Traditional singer and collector Len Graham is pestered by storyteller Jack Lynch, who recounts the doings of one PJ Galligan, Cavan entrepreneur, Greek scholar, keen polluter, demolition artist and CEO of Galligan Destruction. Sublime singing undercut by a cornucopia of foreign jaunts, colourful accidents, unappetising occurrences and grotesque upshots. Fisticuffs may well ensue.
JOHN MAGUIRE - FIRST CAME TO PROMINENCE AT THE FIRST FLATLAKE FESTIVAL WHEN HE SUPPORTED JINX LENNON.SINCE THEN HE HAS RELEASED HIS FIRST CD TO GREAT ACCLAIM.JOHN COMES FROM A WELL-KNOWN CLONES FAMILY OF MUSICIANS AND CURRENTLY RESIDES IN WICKLOW.
THE PRUFROCK POETS: Nuala Ni Choncuir, BarbaraSmith, Jaki McCarrick, Mary Mullen, Liz Gallagher”
These writers know each other mostly via Galway - based writer, Nuala Ni Chonchuir. Will keep you posted on what they'll be doing in the theatre tent.
Johnny Gogan - Film-maker Johnny Gogan steps out from behind the lens for a rendering of his soon to be published novella Ghost Writers: a portrait of the poet as a hermaphrodite.
Calf Shed - Another young local band - fronted by James McQuire who's dad, Jimmy does the eggs and spreads really smelly chicken shit across the road.
Jinx Lennon & Paula Flynn - Pure, hard-hitting brilliance from Dundalk. Flat Lake wouldn't be quite right without them. If you've missed them is the past make sure you see them this year. It's a festival treat. By the way, Johnny Madden's favourite from Jinx is ' GOBSHITE IN THE HOUSE'.
Joe O 'Byrne - a stage play: two men, a mister big and a mister small, plot how they are going to get out from under their business difficulties.
John Maher - The Coast of Malabar sung by female singer + short reading of story - novel.JOHN is a big DOCTOR now,not much use if you have measles but full of brains about nationalism all over the world and stuff.
Judith Mok - Cracking Opera Singer bringing us her rendition of MOLLY SAYS NO! Originally commissioned for the Joyce Centenary celebrations in 2004, Molly Says No! is a dramatic recital written by Michael O'Loughlin which aims to show a different side of Molly Bloom. Judith Mok is a classical singer who has travelled the world performing a vast repertoire; in addition she is a poet and novelist.
Key West - Nice. Mellow. Exeptionately tight young band with numbers for all the family.
KEITH ALLEN ( and Jam and Pablo ) - The Sherrif of Nottingham returns with a unique spoken word & Music extravaganza currently doing the festival rounds with his band. Will also be bringing some West Country Cider and cooking up some tasy nosh with his missus, Tamsin and daughter, Teddy Rose.
Larry Beau - Raunchy & operatic pop from Ireland's Dandy Minstrel. Like a stray from the nether regions of Neill Jordan's 'Interview with a Vampire' Larry Beau inhabits a gothic underworld where decadence, lust and horror vie with one another for his, and our, attentions. heart - stopping. www.myspace.com/larrybeau
Little John Nee - Comedy trouper extraordinaire. Little John will make you laugh and cry at the same time. Not to be missed.
LIZ AND CLARA MONAGHAN - ALSO KNOWN AS 'THE RELATIVES' WHO WILL BE BLASTING OUT SOME SERIOUS SOUL 'N BLUES FERMENTED IN THE WEE HILLS OF OUR VERY OWN COUNTY.TAKE IT AWAY,OUR BOYS I MEAN GIRLS!
Longtails - Longtails will wow the Flatlakes beautiful people with songs about Communist Godfathers, Mysterious North Atlantic Islands, Mathematic Formulas and Chemically Evolved Fungi. They will deliver these ditties with the aid of guitar, banjo, bass, percussion and singers. If all this doesnt work we will bribe the crowd with penny jellies. www.myspace.com/longtails
Matthew Sweeney - will be doing a poetry reading – the poems sometimes go into the weird zone. They can be funny, but dark too. They tell stories. They are full of animals.
Reg Varney - Cancelled.
Mik Artistik - Mik Artistik's Ego Trip are the ultimate quartet in duo form - playing the most stylish 'n scary rock 'n roll stand-up this side of the planet. Smash hits at Glastonbury 'n Latitude this year, they'll have you reaching for your inhaler..
Mike McCormack - Mike McCormack comes from Mayo and is the author of two novels and a book of short stories. His last book was the experimental novel 'Notes from a Coma.' He has just completed his second collection of short stories.
Noelle Harrison - Big hit last year,the author of BEATRICE comes back to stun us all with a reading of her new novel,by all accounts just completed.
Oliver Durkin -Will be taking time off from Pat the Baker to recite poetry from the saddle of his horse...while jumping fences.... we are not making this up. Definately one for arty/horsey people.... on acid.
Oona And The Devils - ‘Funkin Countrabilly’, serving up a heady cocktail of, Memphis rockabilly, country soul and west-Coast country guaranteed to go straight to your hips. The band’s been picking up substantial airplay recently both nationally and locally and are a taster of what is to come from the band’s debut album, due out later this year.
Paddy McEntee - from Monaghan and has been singing and writing songs since Pat McCabe was a wee fella. He only gets out once a year and says he can hardly wait to hear himself again.
Pat Kinevane - "One of the finest by a mile in this country", says Captain Butty. Pat was the star of A MOTHER'S LOVE WAS A BLESSING which won the Red Hills Golden Bantam Award - currently storming the country with FISHAMBLES 'FORGOTTEN.'
Pat Mc Cabe - aka CAPTAIN BUTTY - Co-founder of the Flat Lake and can always be found manning the Mondo Rancho Tent where we'll have game cocks, goats, marbles and just about everything under the sun. He would like it to be known that anyone who visits the chicken run ought to be dressed after the manner of Alfredo Garicia,out of Sam Peckinpah's 'Bring Me The Head Of...' or alternatively Bob Dylan as Alias in Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid.Or if they like they can just wear sombreros and yellow chicken beaks.Welcome to the El Paso border,sons of beeshes, peeegs and locos!
Paul Duane - Described by Roy Foster as Ireland's 'edgy auteur'. Paul is currently putting mad rabbits on the internest and will be hosting in Mondo Rancho's mini 'continental'film festival.
Peter Murphy - Peter Murphy, novelist, graverobber, mouth for hire, raconteur, weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs, creepy fireside tales a speciality.His most recent novel JOHN THE REVELATOR has been a big hit for Faber And Faber.
Phil Franco - lovely fella from Fermanagh - professional cabaret artist - he really is a blast from the past repertoire of music includes sounds from the 50s 60s as well as Jazz American Standards and Easy Listening He has recently appeared on UK TV as Frank Sinatra and has tried Elvis’s favourite menu item banana and peanut Toasties Phil says he is a retro connoisseur and this applies to his fashions as well as his sounds. Check out the Trilby
PHILIP DOHERTY –will perform the award winning dark comedy 'Mysterious Ways.' Centred on the outrageous outpourings of Joseph Moran, who works in a religious souvenir shop by day, and leads a life of debauchery by night - until he experiences a miracle of his own
Poppy Lloyd - A truly wonerful DJ - Poppy will spin her ska & reggae, along with an eclectic mix of dancetastic tunes, rounding off the Friday night's entertainment with a bang!
RELIEF - have a dynamic sound for a dynamic world! Voted ‘BEST UNSIGNED BAND 2009’ in Ireland by 98FM and RELIEF played a storming set at SXSW’09 in Texas. Band is gearing up for their debut album in the fall.
Roof Top Anthems - Basically play anthems ... on the roof. Listen out for My Hen Wlad F'ynadau.
Scottish Dancers - Yes, some of these men wear skirts with nothing but silk Deisels underneath. Not for the faint hearted.
Sports Day ! Saturday & Sunday Sports day will include Inter-writing genre Tug O' War, Sack races, Egg and spoon races - Catch the Pig - Catch the Chicken - Chuck the Hay - Welly throwing - Rabbit Poo Lotto - and just about everything you'd expect at a sports day and more - with some fancy trophys crafted by some of our on-site visual artists.
Stephen Rea - Lovely to have this brilliant actor back at the Flat Lake. He will be reading Shane Connaghton's play 'A wicked Hoor' so get into the theatre tent early for a seat ( or a bale )
Sue Gogan - Café country jazz twang - after a generation in semi retirement she is emerging from the chrysalis into a fully fledged country thang…..currently doing a cover set in the Pilot Bar in Enniscrone on a Saturday night to a suitably minimalist audience - just Sue an’ her guitar and a scattering of broken hearts….
Suzy Almond - Flew in from NYC last year and wowed our audience with her unique brand of Folk & Blues...so we invited her back for more!
The Poetry Chicks - Original and authentic word addicts since 2006. Performing an interpretation of the 'Half Day' from Dermot Healy's the Bend for Home, along with Mr Conner Kelly a 19 - year old song writer and keyboard virtuoso , as well as a few of our own Poetic delights!
The Toblerones - The Hillies? The Evenly Brothers? Simo and Garfocail? Bollocks. You want The Toblerones mate. There may be two of them but they're OUT ON THEIR OWN!.
Tony Allen - Grandfather of alternative comedy, veteran of London's Speakers Corner - Tony's back for more punishment with his band of merry minstrals.
Wuzza Grant - Not to be confused with Eddie Grant or Arts Council Grant - Biog to come....
And tons & tons & tons of surprises!
Apologies to those looking forward to Reg Varney but we have been reliably informed that he died some years ago. As did Liberace. And, I'm afraid, Molly Sugden.
